As cannabis farms become more abundant in California, Californians are find that the smells coming from these cannabis farms are sometimes unbearable. The point is, people don't move away from civilization because they're normal. Every day I had to fill our chickens' water dispenser. It's built into its DNA. Your sprinkler system is watching for your truck to drive away so it can malfunction and turn your garden into a mud wrestling pit. Wild hermits are unusual, but everyone in the country owns a gun, and like all gun owners they fantasize all day about using them. A goat head is like a cement block with horns because the only things those stupid things know how to do is lick salt and head butt. To us jet setters, the countryside seems so beautiful ... the milkable animals, the clean a If your only interaction with farm animals is petting zoos and cheeseburgers, you probably see them as lovable and innocent creatures. An encounter between country dogs contains no comical ass sniffing -- it's a snarling cartoon cloud of mortal combat. It's soft to sleep on, it keeps them warm, they can eat it and it will be made entirely out of feces before any of those things happen. Yet since the advent of industrial agriculture after World War II, the on-the-ground reality of country life has changed. Scientists are still working on the theory. Good luck. 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My folks used to turn off the electricity on weekends to prepare us for a life of self-sustained everything. And according to my studies, cows digest only 2 percent of what they eat. Badgers will rip the heads off of your chickens. Last June, Rural Affairs Minister Alun Michael ruled out the need for such zones. Is Living Near a Farm Bad for Your Health? Within a few months, nature starts to eat it, and now there's a tractor in that spot for the rest of all time. It was specifically designed so birds couldn't sit on it, and yet every day I found it filled with chicken crap. Cracked is published by Literally media Ltd.. Part of the Daily Mail, The Mail on Sunday & Metro Media Group. Country people don't favor huge dogs because they live too far from Chihuahua boutiques. Some have even claimed a connection to cancer. They were also peeing on that, and the second you disturb the swampy toilet they call a home, ammonia shoots out to burn your lungs and sear your eyeballs. Copyright ©2005-2020. The house nearest to ours had actual booby traps on it. Don't be fooled -- petting zoos are where animals go when their spirits are broken. Once a week I had to drive a riding lawn mower past the hives of my dad's irritable, lunatic bees, and I still say cracking eggs open was the most stressful job on the farm. I got in a fist fight with one of them in fourth grade, and I have a vivid memory of my deadliest karate blows having no effect on his indefinably wrong face. Country mechanics probably spend more time scraping deer carcasses out of truck grills than they do fixing engines. Its findings were last night welcomed by campaigners, who have linked chemical spraying to blistering, swollen throats, weeping eyes, ME and damage to the immune system. Most people's exposure to rural environments consists of taking a scenic drive through wine country or being tricked onto a tomato farm by a Domino's Pizza focus group. 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