I don't know that he will seek help and I worry about the alcohol and adderall combo he's taking. I want to give this relationship a chance and I want to do it properly but I do not have the tools or resources to research properly and be there for him in the right way. Move to a space where you are by yourself because you have nobody around that has the possibility of increasing the tension. Find Julia on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, LinkedIn and at her blog. I have encouraged her to return to her psychologist because if she does not try to improve her situation then I will find it very hard to continue helping someone who wont help themselves. This is how I treat people and act when experiencing social anxiety ! Did you blame your unhappiness on your partner? Site last updated November 29, 2020, how to treat people with mental health problems. Hi so I have this very special person in my life where we became friends then we became closer than friends. What's wrong with me? What he says in moments of anxiety or depression is not a reflection on you but on him. I am currently at a loss as to what I can do to help him. I'm glad you've found some comfort in this post. When she's happy she's amazing, but when she's low, it's heartbreaking. He ended things with me and isn't likely to want my help. Sex part is constant issue, he says it helps him sleep. Pause and think before saying anything. When you are angry, think to yourself, are these words harmful? Eventually I get worn down and need help (which I do not get). I dealing with anxiety and depression I have said things I shouldn't have. I have gone through phases of being extremely agoraphobic, to the point where even dashing to the corner shop felt like a terrible ordeal. Forgive me for being blunt, but I feel the situation necessitates it: you need to leave. I'm here searching for evidence that it may have been responsible for the things she said. In reply to Hi, Wow. People who say in anger things they feel deep down but normally wouldn't out of consideration for the other's feelings. I know you are worried about him, but if I'm being honest, breaking up with him is probably a good thing. I don't doubt that there are things about him you love - you wouldn't have married him if there weren't. I could be crying in front of him asking him to stop, and he will continue to berate me. When I thought about it, I decided there are common themes to the things I say which I later regret. My solution was,”and it worked “, I went to their phone number and changed their name to something to remind me and deter me from saying something I would surely regret. It's very hard to see your own child go through something like this. Because they really seemed badly affected by me. And by that time it’s too late. As difficult as this maybe, I've learnt over the years to walk away or not respond to someone when I am angry at them but to rather remove myself from the situation and calm down. Do I just give up on him or continue to deal with the emotional stress everyday? I have always thought I was alone, thank you so much for sharing. He constantly cleans and is mad about the smallest of things. Is there medication that helps with this? I can't stop crying for days on end. Just...wow. So getting to know him more, he started to tell me about his anxiety. I'm trying to help him with long walks and being engaged at homeby inviting other friends over. I should also mention he's mildly on the autistic spectrum. He drinks a lot to cover whatever is going on inside his mind and I used to argue with him and cry all night over what he said but now I can spot the 'beginning of an episode and just agree with him and then hold his hand and this has so far diffused some horrible situations. After I stop seeing red I often am thankful I didn't say all those nasty things because it would 1. never be able to be taken back and 2. Write all the things you want to say, no holds barred. We all say things we don’t mean - to our friends, family, or even strangers. Whenever you have an angry thought, direct it in your journal. He says mean things and disrespects me and he doesn’t see it until I point it out. Regardless, this situation is too much for you to handle, and until he gets the professional help he needs, which may take a long time, you and your children are not going to be in a good place being around him. It isn’t always just the out and out nastiness that can hurt. I know this might not solve the problem completely & it will take time, but it will definitely help you. It’s exhausting trying to get him to apologize cause he never gets it until a day later. 6. He had to fly out to NY again for work. But you matter as much as he does and you are not a doormat. Just wondering if anyone can give me some advice as to what I can do. She and her husband then recommended a sushi roll they loved. For the most part, I do not judge people who do not know how to treat people with mental health problems. Hi TJ, I understand she has anxiety and I have done my best to be understanding and accomodating however last weekend she just went too far. I drove from Sydney to Brisbane to help her move house. I would tell him that that’s just an excuse. I am on a medication dosage that suits me, have received counselling and cognitive behaviour therapy and have an all around good grasp on my physical and mental wellbeing. In other words, if you don't want to totally destroy him. I said I can't figure her out and she told me don't even try she can't figure herself out a week later we split up and I may of been a bit harsh on her telling her all the horrible things she said and basically saying she was a terrible girlfriend that's why she'd had terrible ex's - whoops......how the hell do I apologise to her cause she's just shut me out like we never even met each other!? He doesn't always get drunk but he will if the opportunity is there. I just don’t want to walk away if it something as easy as getting on medication but I also don’t want to put myself and kids last anymore. Until almost every time we spoke it’d lead to an argument. I feel guilty because sometimes I question if he is just saying he has anxiety just to not feel guilty for telling me how he really feels (bc it is horrible and no one should ever hear it) or if he really is having anxiety and I am a bad person for questioning it. 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